


Reckless is My Middle Name

by Qwerty_2poynt0



Series: Hyrule is Full of Dorks and the Bullshit They Put Up With [1]
Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Aka: I decide to explain LOZ's game mechanics in-universe instead of straight up ignoring them, Amnesia, Angst and Feels, Comedy, Cooking, Cute Kids, Fairy Logic, Frustration, Gen, Horses, Language, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Link (Legend of Zelda) Needs a Hug, Link Really Likes Horses, Link misses his princess, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Respawning, Secret Identity, Sign Language, Snark, Soft time shenanigans, Time Shenanigans, Video Game Mechanics, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, and his horse, but like, can you tell I based Link's inner monologue heavily on Magnus Chase?, it's hardly there, it's just a lot of emotions, it's sorta infrequent, it's still there, kinda sorta, link is weak for small children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-07-25 04:17:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16189913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qwerty_2poynt0/pseuds/Qwerty_2poynt0
Summary: May the goddess smile upon you.Listen buddy, the goddess smiling upon me has done me very little favors in the way of peace of mind, so maybe find something new to say before dissolving into a bunch of depressing green sparkles please and thank you.Link is wired, memory-less, and not taking any of your shit.





	1. Listen. If I'm gonna be saddled with the fate of the world, I'm saving it at my own pace.

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone was wondering (which they probably aren't 'cause there's not much overlap within the bases) The title is in fact a reference to Hero is My Middle Name from the Spongebob Musical.

   "Fuck!"

   My heart rate skyrocketed faster than a hot footed frog from a boiling mudpit as the Lizalfos scurried straight for me like a creepy crawly harbinger of death, zig zagging in that way that smart things do when they know you have a bow. Not that that mattered, I was out of arrows. I'd also broken pretty much every weapon I had and unless whacking it with a torch would magically make it dissolve into goop before the torch splintered into a million useless pieces, I was going to die.

   "Zelda, I know you need rescuing," I said to the air whilst breaking into a sprint I knew I could not support as though talking to my princess's disembodied voice would make the goddess have pity on me and present me with an easy out. "And I really appreciate you giving up sunshine and fresh air to keep Hyrule from disintegrating or whatever horrible things would happen if Calamity Ganon weren't sealed."

   I unequipped my bow with only slightly less clumsy hands than the last time this had happened before jumping off the nearest bluff.

    _Oh for crying out loud_

   "BUT MAYBE YOU COULD'VE WOKEN ME SOONER?!?!"

   I had grossly misjudged how far up I was. It's a very easy thing to forget when you're me and one of the many that made me wonder how my reckless dumb ass managed to earn the title of 'Champion'. Especially when I hit the ground and felt all the bones in my legs shatter and my pelvis crack. It was a familiar feeling at this point. The worst part about it was right then my heart decided to stop from the shock and everything went black.

    _Aannnnnd I'm dead. Again._

   I wasn't sure if I'd always been this way or if the 100 year coma had something to do with it, but I had yet to technically 'die' in the permanent sense. I'd been through so many different ways to die I was pretty sure I could make a 50 page guidebook on Every Way You Can Perish In The Hyrulian Wilds: Link's Stupidity Knows No Bounds!

   I decided to just turn back. Fuck getting to Impa, Impa could wait another few days, she'd been waiting a good 100 years already. Trudging through the grass in the opposite direction, I caught sight of Hyrule Castle way out in the distance.

    If Zelda could see me, I doubted she was very hopeful at my prospects.

   "... Hang in there princess. I'll stop being an idiot eventually."

-+-

   The first time I'd heard Zelda's voice my body was sluggish, my mind was blank, and my soul was dead tired. Weirdly, hearing her lilting soft words helped with the third bit. I followed her instructions on instinct and had since suspected Zelda was 95% of my impulse control when we weren't, you know, risking our lives to save an entire world.

   As I walked southwest, looking for a cliff I could paraglide off of, (great job remembering that tidbit before falling to your death, you moron) the sun began to set. There was an ominous red glow on the opposite horizon and I felt torn between a sort of exhausted, sort of annoyed, primarily afraid feeling and an excited anticipation. Not because I was excited about all the monsters pulling a me and coming back from the dead, I was less than jazzed about that. But whenever the blood moon rose, that meant I'd get to hear Zelda's voice.

   I wasn't sure why I was looking forward to it so much. She was just going to remind me to be careful like she always did. It should've gotten annoying by now really. But it hadn't.

   I found the highest point I could while the clouds began to rush and shrink away from the looming red light as though they too were terrified by the ungoddessly display going on in the sky. Let's just... not look at  _that_ anymore. The fruits of my first frustration since waking up from my 100 year nap snapped open as it caught the air and I glided further and further away from the responsibility the king had presented me with. I saw the telltale... evil smoke? Whatever it was it was creepy and I was glad I wasn't on the ground. My heels skimmed the tops of a copse of trees when I heard her.

    _'The blood moon rises once again.'_

    _Thanks for telling me, I really hadn't noticed._

    _'Link...'_

   "Yes princess?"

    _'Please be careful.'_

   And she was gone. And I was lonely again.

   I climbed up a cliff face I was sure no monster would be able to climb and set up a campfire on the first ledge big enough for it. As I stared blankly at the flames, I felt that weird feeling I got whenever I sat by a fire to pass the time. I had a feeling I was doing...  _something_ , but I just wasn't sure what. Like by deciding to focus on the fire, I was creating a pocket for myself where time passed for everything else, but not me. It could be a thing everyone did, but then again, so could rewinding time to a point where you weren't dead by sheer force of will. Neither struck me as very likely.

    _Maybe the goddess values stubbornness._

   The sun began to peek up over the horizon and the fire fizzled out. I blinked my eyes and pushed myself to my feet. This cliff wasn't going to climb itself.

-+-

   The view was amazing, but I nearly fell off my perch and to my death when I saw the horses.

   "No. No.  _No._ " I grit my teeth and steadied myself. "You are  _not_  breaking all the bones in your legs  _a 12th time_ _._ "

   I managed to scramble down the hill and get my feet on even ground. I'd been hyperfocusing on the fact that there were horses and paused for a second when I realized there was a building too, nestled against a rise that housed a shrine I hadn't been to yet.

   And then I heard a telltale squealing snorting sound that made my hand immediately reach for the weapon I didn't have. I made my way around the bowl the long way, keeping an eye out for Bokoblins, and hesitated as I came up on the stable. There were people milling around, sitting by fires, tending to animals. There weren't that many, not even in the double digits, but I still hesitated for some reason.

    _Okay Link, let's weigh our options:_ Horses _(and human interaction that you haven't had in 100 years). Or shrine puzzles that could consume your entire day?_

   I decided to hazard the shrine first.

   When I first walked in, I thought it would be easy, but then I got past the first set of doors. 

    _Guess it wouldn't be a_ trial _if it were easy._

   I walked down the center of the room and noticed a stack of cubes made of rock on top of the tallest of the room's four platforms. Those weren't too common in any of the shrines I'd been to. Then I noticed there was a chest at the top.

    _Hell yes._

   From the looks of it, the chest was just metal enough to magnet down if I could manage to get it within range. I turned right and found a set of stairs to the top of another platform. Once I got to the top of that, I tested out my theory, and the chest was definitely magnetic, but I still wasn't close enough. Hopping down from the platform, I came around and behind the chest on the far side of the room. If I could angle it juuuuust right...

    _Vwoom_

   "Yes!"

   I started to move it around a bit and wondered... could I just sort of...

   There was a loud, suspiciously mechanic  _crash!_ as I toppled the tower of blocks to the right. I dropped the chest to investigate and got around the corner just in time to see the guardian I'd just squashed burst into a cloud of smoke.

   "... One less thing to fight I guess." But I still felt kinda bad for some reason. The poor bucket of bolts never got a fighting chance. Granted, that chance would be to kill me, so my levels of sympathy weren't particularly mountain moving.

   It took a few explosions and an attempt at what I interpreted as revenge from another guardian that I'd somehow missed going up the stairs the first time, but I managed to make my way to the shrine mummy thing and got my spirit orb.

    **May the goddess smile upon you.**

    _Listen buddy, the goddess smiling upon me has done me very little favors in the way of peace of mind, so maybe find something new to say before dissolving into a bunch of depressing green sparkles please and thank you._

-+-

   I learned quickly at Highland Stable that I liked animals more than people.

   Beedle was... nice. And the guy at the counter had helped in jogging my memory on how to break in a horse. The girl at the feeding trough was pleasant... But by the goddess did I apparently love horses.

   I spent a full day and the better part of my evening in the tiny valley to the east of the stable where it was just tall grass, butterflies, and a handful of horses. It took me all morning to tame one and a good chunk of the afternoon to get it to walk into the stable grounds but I was too happy to care. It was when the guy asked me what I wanted to name it that I felt...  _something_. Something trying to get past the block between me and my memories.

   "I..."

   "You gotta call her something."

   "Her... her name...  _ugh!"_ There was something important! Something that made my heart ache and my mind fuzzy. "My horse's name... it's..."

   I looked down at my new partner's yellow mane and dappled creamy coat. This horse... wasn't....

   "Epona..." My eyes went wide as I remembered her. "Epona! My horse's name was Epona!"

   I remembered her deep brown coat and blinding blonde mane. How she ran and the sound of her voice. (well okay, not literally, she didn't  _talk_ but still!) We went everywhere, we- we...

    _Dammit, why can't I remember anything!?_

   "Is that so?" I was brought back to the present as the stable master looked at me like I was crazy. "You sure you wanna name two horses after a legendary steed?"

   "Two... wh- no! Epona was _my horse._ "

   He blinked at me and started as recognition lit up across his features. 

   "No, you couldn't be..."

   I sighed.

   "Zelda."

   "Huh?" He sputtered.

   "The horse's name is Zelda." It was the second time I said it that I realized I was doing two specific hand motions on 'Zelda'.

   "Uuhhh rrright!"

   He quickly scribbled it down on the little sheet the rest of my horse's information was on and filed it away while I distractedly mouthed 'Zelda' and repeated the hand motions. I was making a Z with one hand then clenching my fists and making a small downward motion with them. Like I was flexing or something??? No, that wasn't what it was...

   "So uhm, that'll be 20 rupees."

   "Huh? Oh, right." I handed him the gems and he smiled awkwardly at me.

   "Hope to see you again soon!"

   "Right..." I carefully led Zelda (what was I thinking, naming her Zelda?) out of the stable and down the pathway leading west past the lake. I'd disposed of the Bokoblins in the Flural Plain who had the gall to be riding horses around (and, y'know, terrorizing travellers, but that wasn't anything out of the ordinary) last night and smiled to myself as I saw the horses roaming around the grasslands like there'd never been Bokoblins in the first place. I reached out to pat my horse's neck before urging her into a trot. "Let's go Zelda."

   It suddenly felt funny to be saying the name aloud instead of using the hand motions. I made the second motion with the reigns in my hands and I knew it meant something...

    _Why am I using the sign for strength in a na-_

   "Strength! It means strength!" Zelda huffed in surprise and I patted her gently on the head. "Sorry Zelda, I promise I'm not usually like this."

   Though, for all I knew, that was probably a lie. I'd barely been awake a month and a half. I ended up zoning out as Zelda followed to pathway and the sun disappeared along the horizon.

    _But seriously, why 'strength'? Z-strength isn't a very solid translation._

   I held up one hand to the stars to try something.

   "My name... is Link."

   My hand formed an L before closing it and extending my other three fingers as my hand moved to my heart, the sign now sideways.

   "That's... weird."

   No words came to my mind for the second movement, but I got the feeling it was supposed to be some sort of... twisting of some other word. Like the motion wasn't a sign for anything in particular, just a jumbling of meanings meant to get my name across.

   "Okay so I know sign language... I didn't even know sign language  _existed_ this morning."

   Zelda made a small nickering noise and I ruffled her mane a bit.

   "I know right?"

   I spotted a fire at a bend in the road ahead and decided I should probably stop there before any skeletons or Chuchus decided to show up.

   "... You know Zelda, even if I'm naming you after the princess, I can't have the two of you sharing a sign. That just wouldn't make sense."

   She gave me an inquisitive whinny.

   "I think we're going to need to specify that you're horse Zelda, not Princess Zelda... but how?"

   I noticed some people sleeping around the fire as I slowed Zelda to a walk. I lowered my voice in order not to wake them.

   "... Maybe I can be lazy and switch out 'strength' for 'horse'... if I could remember the sign for horse."

   I dismounted and stood in front of the little cooking pot fire. Zelda began munching on some grass.

   "I guess I'll remember it in the morning... hopefully." I murmured to myself as I sat down in front of the fire and zoned out.

    _Maybe something about Epona will come with it._

   Great. Now I was missing my princess  _and_ my horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me! Spreading myself too thin like a crazy person. I've kind of been wanting to write a snarky inner monologue for Link ever since I got through the starting area and so this happened. And if you're wondering why this is part of a series, you'll just have to find oouuuut~~ (lookit me, being all cool and coy like... like a cool person) Also I feel the need to explain that Link's name sign is sort of a corruption of the sign for the literal word link and also that I am _not_ fluent in sign language so... yeah.  
>  Comments are very much appreciated and encouraged~


	2. Am I a fairy? Am I just nobody? The truth may never be known.

   Scaling mountains wasn't _necessarily_  the hardest thing I did on a daily basis, but try telling that to my muscles after a full day of climbing.

    _Y'know, maybe I should just kinda not._

   I could find another route to the village. It probably wouldn't be that hard. I could just go around this set of glorified rocks and find a pathway or something. I mean, there had to be one _somewhere_.

   And yet...

   "HA! WHAT'D I- is that a frog?"

   My oxygen-deprived victory shout was interrupted when I noticed a little stone frog with a little stone basin set neatly in front of it.

    _Okay, I can believe that someone would make a frog statue. I can believe you'd use frog statues for whatever purpose frog statues are used for when they have little pedestal thingies for offerings. But why. Out of all places. Would you put that offertory frog statue_ at the top of a nearly unscalable mountain?

   I crouched down and looked the frog in the eye. "How did you even get here?"

   I'd barely gotten up here and I'd been blessed by the Actual Goddess with increased stamina; I couldn't imagine climbing this thing with at least 10 pounds of stone strapped to your back.

   I felt like I should give it something, but I wasn't sure exactly what. Rupees? Apples? Another frog? I didn't wanna make it angry.

   Then I looked to my right.

   "... Woah."

   I didn't have to look at the little yellow dot on my Sheikah slate to know that was Kakariko village.

   The biggest structure in the entire village by far was the one closest to me, nestled in front of the waterfalls that streamed down the cliff sides I was well above from my perch next to the frog. It was probably one of the biggest buildings I'd seen in my memorable life if you didn't count the castle which could pretty much be seen from just about anywhere in Hyrule. Through the atmospheric interference (okay, where had I learned  _that?_ ) I could make out a thriving village with homes and stores and tiny little farms. There was a little pond right around the middle close to the monster of a building I was behind. I could just barely see the people. Someone meandered close to the pond and there were kids -ohmygosh _kids!_ \- running around in the street. There were people walking about their business and standing in front of shops and tending to gardens and it was all so... domestic.

   Needless to say, I nearly took a tumble down the side of the mountain straining to get a better look.

    _Okay Link. You have a paraglider. You can get down there no problem... Now if you'd just stop being a skittish moron and not freak out over having to talk to other human beings!_

   I didn't get why the thought of talking to other people after having no company but my horse and the occasional traveller with a pack mule for a good... week? Wow, for someone who seems to be able to manipulate the stuff at will, I have a terrible sense of time. Why the thought of human interaction still made me want to disappear into the wilderness for about a month before trying again was a mystery, but I decided to assume it was a side effect of not having to deal with it for a good century and change.

    _Okay. You only need to talk to Impa. Impa is priority number 1. If you wanna crawl under a rock and avoid everyone after you've talked to her, you can go do that! But Impa is important._

   I pulled out my paraglider and waved goodbye to Mr. Frog McRockstone as I hopped off the edge of the rise and let myself float down toward the village. I'd managed to get a good... 100 feet? Above the red roof of the main building when my arms started to burn. I still wasn't sure if I loved or hated what I was about to do.

   My stomach lagged behind the rest of me as I closed the sail of the paraglider and let myself freefall a good 90% of the way down before nearly pulling my arms out of socket snapping the glider back open to cushion my fall. The roof tiles made nice little clinkitty noises beneath my boots as I found my balance, rolled my shoulders, and loosened up my arms.

   I collapsed with a huff onto my back and listened to the musical rhythm of the village phasing with the sound of the waterfalls, staring up at the pink and orange clouds.

   It had been forever since I'd felt this safe.

   I watched the sky go from orange to pink to navy blue and finally a deep dark star sprinkled canvas of black, blessedly free of the looming spectre of that  _fucking blood moon_.

    _... Well now Impa's probably asleep._

   I sighed and closed my eyes.

    _Not too bad of an idea, really._

   I hadn't slept in... holy shit, I'd  _never slept._

   I jolted upright when I realized that little tidbit. Somehow this was more earth shaking than not being able to die (Not that I _wanted_ to die but you get the idea). I mean, the weird time shenanigans that seemed to happen exclusively to me were probably some weird magic whatever, but  _sleeping?_ That's just a normal bodily function, how on the goddess's green Earth had I never slept in the past month and a half? Was it because I'd  _already_ slept for a hundred years? It was pretty far fetched but it was the only explanation I had?

   "Aaauuuuugh why can't things just be normal!?"

   Good grief, I felt like I'd been waiting 100 years to say that.

   "Okay. So you apparently Don't Sleep. Do you want to sleep? Kind of. I'd very much like to just clock out of reality for at least a full 24 hours. But like? Do I wanna fall asleep on someone's roof? No. Do I have the energy right now to get down from here? Absolutely I do not." I sighed. "Okay Link, I think we can officially say you're slowly going crazy. Well Other Link, what should we do about it? Great question. I have no answer."

   I'd started doing the little sign for my name every time I said it aloud somewhere in my mad tirade and a few other signs I could only assume to be the signs for the words I was saying when they came up. Although I have to say, I hadn't expected the sign for crazy to be so on the nose. I flopped back onto the roof with a bit louder of a thud than I'd anticipated.

   "I-is someone there?" A girlish voice floated up from just outside the building shortly after.

   "... Nnno?" A brilliant comeback, I know.

   "Who are you? ...  _Where_ are you?"

   "Well I'm definitely not on the roof considering I'm not even here."

   "... Okay then  _what_ are you?"

   "I'm... nobody."

   "But that's  _who_ you are."

   "You got me there. Although if I'm nobody, it would be hard for me to be anything else."

   "... That... that almost makes sense." By the goddess I felt that in my soul. "What are you doing here?"

   I decided the truth was more chimerical ( _where are these words coming from?_ ) than any lie I could conjure up off the top of my head. "A ghost sent me."

   "A ghost?" She sounded mighty uncomfortable at this new information.

   "Oh yes, a very important one. He insisted I come; though I admit, I took a while getting here."

   "... Well I guess all there's left to ask you is why."

   "You'd be correct. I've come to visit someone I don't remember."

   "But... how will you find them?"

   "Oh I'm sure I will, they're quite important."

   "You seem to know lots of important people." She sounded both suspicious and gloomy saying that.

   "You'd be surprised how many important people ask for somebody and get me."

   "Well if you're nobody, who's somebody?"

   "Oh no, not Somebody; Somebody doesn't exist. But there are plenty of somebodies out there. You're certainly one."

   "And how would you know that?" She said it awfully blue.

   "You just seem like a somebody is all. Most people are somebodies really."

   She was silent for a good while.

   "... Are you some kind of fairy?"

   "Fairy?"

   "Yes. You talk a lot like a fairy."

   "Have you met any fairies?"

   "Well, no... But I know a lot of stories about them. I used to love listening to them when I was little."

   "... I wish I could remember being little."

   "You don't?"

   "I don't remember much of anything these days. Maybe I'm just getting old... How old am I anyway?"

   "I can't say I know."

   I thought of something out of nowhere and smirked to myself.

   "Might I have your name?"

   "It's not wise to just  _give_ a fairy your name. But you may call me Papaya if you wish."

   I chuckled to myself. "Smart girl."

   "What should I call you?"

   "Nobody is just fine, don't you agree?"

   "Hm. I suppose." She yawned long and drawn out and it was quite contagious. "It's late. I should get back to sleep. If I could ask you a favor?"

   "Certainly."

   "I would appreciate it if you'd be careful not to make any leaks in the roof."

   "Covering all your bases. Clever girl."

   'Papaya' giggled. "Well, I'll be going back to bed. Goodnight nobody."

   "Sweet dreams Miss Papaya."

   I heard a window closing and returned my eyes to the stars. Judging by where the moon was, it was about midnight now. Had I done my weird timey thing without noticing? Couldn't be, I'd only been talking to Papaya for a few minutes... right?

    _I'm starting to think the weird time powers are the_ cause _of my being chronologically challenged._

-+-

   Once the sun rose, I decided it was about time to find my way down. I dropped onto the wraparound porch and quickly scurried into the crawl space beneath the house before anyone came to investigate.

    _Ooo~! Mushrooms!_

   I don't know why I was always collecting the things. Old habit? I had... woah, when had I accumulated over 90 mushrooms? And how did they fit in my bag?

    _You know what. For once, I'm just gonna assume this is how bags work in Hyrule._

   Once I'd collected all the green little cappers, I came out from under the building and stretched out my whole body.

   "Okay, what have we here?" The rock the house was standing on dropped off sharply into a pool that seemed to wrap around the entire structure. To my right was a tree nearly shorter than I was with purple-pink blossoms peeking tentatively from the deep dark spindly wood. If I climbed back onto Papaya's porch, I could make my way down the grand wooden staircase to the ground that wasn't surrounded by water and into the village, but there were sentries set up at the foot of the steps and I didn't want to have to explain myself to them on my way down.

   The front door opened and closed and I heard someone humming softly. There was a watery clunk and a quiet sploosh before they started scrubbing the dust from the floorboards.

    _Okay, so I can't go down the stairs and I can't hang around on the porch._

   I really hadn't thought this through.

   "One of these days, I'm gonna find myself stuck in the bottom of a pit and it's going to be entirely my own fault."

   "Is that why there's always nobody around whenever I look into little nooks and crannies no reasonable person would be?"

   I suppose I should've expected it to be Papaya who had come out, but I still nearly jumped out of my skin when she stopped humming to respond. I quickly hid back under the porch, although I knew in the back of my mind it probably wasn't necessary.

   "Exactly."

   "Well if that's the case, I'm going to have to look extra carefully in case you need my help getting out."

   "You'd go to all that trouble for a nobody?"

   "Well you're no different from anybody."

   "You sure your real name isn't Candy?"

   "I'm sure?"

   "That's certainly strange; you seem awful sweet for a papaya."

   I heard her sputtering and I had to assume her arms were flailing because she quickly cut off with an 'ouch!' as her water bucket tipped over and the suds started streaming down the stairs.

   "Oh nooo!"

   "Hey, look on the bright side, now the stairs won't need scrubbing."

   "Wh- that's now how it-" Papaya sighed and righted her bucket. "I'm going to get some more water."

   "See ya."

   The front door opened and closed as Papaya muttered to herself. I had an opening.

   I quickly hefted myself onto the porch and scrambled up the side of the house. I was still baffled by my muscle memory sometimes. Some surfaces just didn't seem like they could reasonably be climbable but here I was. Once I got back to the roof, I carefully and quietly glided to the little arch above the bottom of the stairs and prayed to the goddess I could keep my balance. I somehow managed to not fall off in enough time to glide off to the far right and hide in the shade before anyone noticed me.

   "Okay. Now you've just gotta find Impa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry my writing style is a disaster, plz bear with my ameteur self.


	3. Flowers just kind of have that effect on amnesiacs apparently.

   I walked out of Impa's house (How had I not inferred that the biggest house in the village belonged to the woman who was the biggest deal in the village?) feeling both disconcerted and like I was prolonging the inevitable. Which was exactly what I was doing, but that didn't make me feel any better.

    _She said all that like I'd_ ever _been ready for all this 'saving the world' business. Then again, as far as I know, I probably was at some point._

   As much as I'd been uncertain about her going in, I was grateful Impa had given me a temporary out. I was already pretty overwhelmed and didn't need anything added to the overpowering sense of weakness and uselessness that had made itself at home in my brain just yet. I knew I couldn't keep it up forever but hey, I could pretend for a few more days.

   I heard Papaya - well, now I knew it was actually just Paya, but anyway- squeak as I passed by. It was weird, having her be all... _weird_ around me. (I know, I have a true mastery of language) I hadn't been recognized on sight by anyone before I'd gotten to Kakariko, and to have her treating me so much differently than when I was nobody was...  ** _weird_**.

   "Hi." I said softly, trying not to startle her. She hid her face.

   "M-master Link... You're standing... awfully close to me..."

   Did she just have an enormous bubble of personal space??? I thought about stepping closer just to mess with her, but I wasn't about to go and make her uncomfortable when I'd barely known her a day. Maybe about a week into knowing her.

   "I...",  _I want to have a normal conversation with you again? I want to tell you I'm really not as special as you seem to think I am? I'm a disaster too, wanna be disasters together and just forget about the looming spectre of doom that is Calamity Ganon for a while?_ "Goodbye."

   I bit the inside of my lip to keep the internal string of 'stupid, stupid, stupid' from spilling out into sound as I left her behind, walking down the staircase. I glanced at the stone frogs lined up next to archway and the korok only I had the ability to see for some reason that I'd found upon setting an apple into one of the basins. The koroks seemed like the closest things to fairies I'd encountered so far but... it was strange. (What else is new?) The more I thought about it, the more I felt like the way I was thinking about fairies was wrong.

    _Well maybe I'll meet some fairies and find out._

-+-

   I had not thought I would be meeting any fairies so soon.

   I was honestly rather suspicious of the... huge... plant... thing that I'd found; it had 'Plant Themed Monster' written all over it... So why were there _fairies?_

   I had developed a habit of crouching in bushes and tall grass whenever I came up on any intact structure and that was exactly where I was when a tiny ball of light with paper thin glassy wings fluttered right by me. I reached out and caught some of its shimmer trail on my fingertips. The fairy paused as the bush I was hiding in rustled with my movement. It looped back around and... seemed to investigate? It was hard to tell, fairies apparently didn't have facial expressions... or bodies? Huh.

   I leaned in closer to see if there was more to the fairy than a ball of light and its wings stuttered. It only then occurred to me that it definitely knew I was there now considering it was two inches from my nose. The fairy hovered there for a moment seemingly in shock and I smiled at it in a way I hoped was sort of reassuring. It backed up and continued to... well I think it was staring at me, it was apparently made of light so I couldn't tell.

   I opened my mouth to speak, but thought better of it and lifted my hands in front of me instead.

    _Do you... know... what that is?_ I signed disjointedly. I'd never tried to carry a conversation like this and I wasn't sure how the fairy would respond anyway since I was pretty sure fairies didn't have voices? Why was I so sure of that?

   The fairy's wings fluttered and I heard a strange hummy jingling noise. Was that a yes?

    _Can_ _you_ \- What was that sign? Oh! - _tell me?_

   The fairy made a series of hummy jingly noises that I had no idea what they meant.

   "Uhm..." The fairy startled at my voice and fled immediately. "... Okay so fairies don't like noise."

   I decided the only way to find out what it was was to suck it up and see what happened when I walked up to the strange pitcher plant... thing.

   I made sure not to disturb the fairies and walked as quietly as possible. When I hazarded the clearing and wasn't immediately accosted by whatever evil plants do when you make them angry, I walked up closer. Still alive. I stepped up to the colorful sort-of-stair-looking outcropping at the base of the plant and against my better judgement tapped on the veiny green pod.

   There was a disturbing rumbling sound and I immediately reached for my sword as the fairies hid under leaves and inside flowers.

   "Boy..."

   Oh shit, it talked?

   "Sweet boy."

   "Uh..." I cleared my throat tried to make my voice stop shaking. "I assume you're talking to me?"

   "Please... listen to my story..."

   Okay... I removed my hand from the hilt of my sword. I didn't think a monster would've thought twice about biting my head off at this point, and it certainly wouldn't have any stories it wanted to tell me.

   "I am the Great Fairy Cotera."

   Hiii Cotera.

   "This used to be a beautiful spring... but as time passed, fewer and fewer travellers came to offer me rupees. As a result, my power has abandoned me."

   I had the feeling this was strange to encounter even for me.

   "I'm nearly powerless now, so I beg your help. I need rupees to become whole again. All I need is 100 rupees."

    _That seems like a weirdly specific problem._

   But I did in fact have over 100 rupees and no real use for them. To be exact I had about 800 rupees, and that was after getting the stealth gear from... well I'd forgotten her name, but I liked her. What was I going to do with all this money anyway? Buy a house?

   I nearly fucking passed out when a had that looked like it belonged to a giantess rather than a fairy reached out to me from inside the plant.

   "Now... If you have rupees, hand them over to me. Quickly!"

   I veeeeery cautiously held out a silver rupee.

   "Here you go."

   I jumped a little when it was promptly snatched from my hand and made the executive decision to back the flip up when the pod started rumbling and convulsing. I gagged on the smell of musty florescent pollen (how can something  _smell_ florescent?) when it burst open.

   An enormous woman I could only describe as Terrifyingly Sparkly twirled up from the depths of the rainbow water.

   "Ah~" The Great Fairy stretched her arms and smiled at me which I will admit kind of terrified me; probably because something in my brain was thinking humanoid things were not supposed to be that big or wear that much makeup. On the other hand, I wasn't really eager to insult a fairy by fleeing her presence on the basis of my blood pressure shooting through the roof. "Oh, what a feeling! The first breath of fresh air after an eternity of decay... It's just so intoxicating!"

   I nodded along, completely unable to word at the moment.

   "Thanks to you, I've been returned to my former glory. And as they say- One good turn deserves another. I can help you, boy. I can enhance your clothing. It's the least I can do, but I will need the necessary materials. With the power available to me... I should be able to enhance your clothing a little bit."

   Part of me was just kind of dumbfounded this was happening. Another part of me was still a little scared of this giant fairy woman. But the part in the driver's seat immediately said:

   "Enhance away." My hands moved in the signs for it on their own and internally I took a moment to smile. It felt nice to have a piece of myself coming back, even if it was something relatively innocuous.

   She gestured to my pack and I realized she probably wanted me to show her my wardrobe. After some deliberation and resource management, I gave her the materials and had her first enhance what I was already wearing. She blew a kiss and a shimmering wind blew back my hair and cut straight through the fabric of my shirt. I didn't immediately feel invincible or anything, but I knew something must have happened because my clothes felt like they were hugging me protectively and it could've been my imagination but I think she made them softer? I pretty much continued with it until I ran out of materials for her to work with.

   "Awaaaay!" And with just as much pomp and circumstance as she'd entered, she splashed back into the bottom of the fountain... wherever that led.

   The regular fairies had since come out of their hiding places and returned to their business of... whatever it is fairies do. Probably not hanging out on people's rooves and calling themselves nobody.

   One of them flew within arm's reach and I reached out, cupping my hand beneath it. The fairy paused for a few seconds and seemed to sort of consider me a moment before settling down in my palm. It was lighter than a feather and the only sensation I felt wasn't weight so much as warmth. I brought it in closer to me and it fluttered its wings in greeting. I nodded to it and wondered internally why I had gotten the fairy's attention. Maybe I just wanted confirmation that there were fairies that were  _not_ scary huge and overbearing. I landed on something to ask and tried my best to sign one-handed.

    _Can you... help me?_

   It made a sound I interpreted as a 'maybe'.

    _I... have..._ Uuuugh! I decided to just spell out the words.  _M-y m-e-m-o-r-i-e-s a-r-e g-o-n-e. I w-a-s h-o-p-i-n-g y-o-u w-o-u-l-d b-e a-b-l-e t-o h-e-l-p s-o-m-e-h-o-w._

   The fairy seemed to think about what I was saying for a moment (or spent a few seconds being desperately confused, fairy body language isn't the most readable if the fairy in question isn't Cotera) before making a little negatory hum and drooping its wings.

    _I w-a-s a-f-r-a-i-d o-f t-h-a-t._

   The fairy made a few more jingling noises and floated up in front of my face. Part of me was glad because this freed up a second hand, but another part of me was more concerned with not being able to understand what this fairy was trying to tell me.

    _I... don't know what you're saying._

   The fairy seemed to sigh in exasperation and flew off. I followed it with my eyes as it gathered the other fairies in the area and brought them all in front of me. Then they started forming... a bunch of dots and dashes? Wait. Wait I recognized these dots and dashes. That... that was a code, a code I knew!

    _We can't help your mind, but we can help your body._

    _How?_

   The fairy I had been talking to earlier came forward as the rest of them dispersed and started humming and jingling in the same code. Jingles for dots, hums for dashes. At least, that's what I hoped it was, because if it wasn't the fairy was saying something  _completely_ different and nonsensical.

    _Whenever your life has run out, we can replenish you. We can only do it once for each of us, but we would be happy to assist._

    _Really?_ I felt like... not like there should be a catch, but like I didn't really deserve special treatment.

    _We can tell an old soul when we see one, and a noble heart when it speaks._

   I blinked at the fairy with an expression I can only assume screamed 'I am so confused and Do Not Believe what you are saying'. Old soul? And what about me would give someone the impression I was noble? I was a complete garbage fire as far as I could tell. I didn't know anything, didn't like talking to people, had nearly run my horse off of  _multiple_ cliffs, I was currently avoiding the responsibility I'd been preserved and awoken to fulfil, and I'd  _died_ so many times I'd lost track but I am rather sure most of them were due to my own stupidity and poor judgement. I waved my hands around in what was probably the sign language equivalent of 'Uuhhhh'.

   The fairy giggled in its jingle-hummy way and continued.  _I can accompany you until you have need of my help._

_That sounds... like a good idea. I'd love some help._

The fairy made a pleased jingling noise.  _Lovely. Don't hesitate to ask us._

   The fairy perched on my shoulder and I'm... relatively sure it gave me a reassuring kiss on the cheek before slipping into my pack and making itself cozy.

    _Huh. I have a fairy now._

   I walked around and started plucking the little bell shaped flowers growing around the fountain. When I wound my way behind the fountain I saw a new flower. There were two, sitting snuggled up to each other at the base of a tree. They each had five white-rimmed petals with blue centers and sported long yellow pistols in the centers. I reached out for one of them but hesitated. These flowers seemed special somehow...

   I carefully wrapped my fingers around one of the stems and the name came so me.

   "Silent Princess..."

   I started the pull at the stem, but before it snapped, I let go. It felt wrong to remove the flower somehow.

    _Silent princess... Kind of like Zelda._

   "Zelda... Princess... Zelda's favorite flower!" I shot to my feet when I remembered. I wasn't sure when I had learned it, didn't know why it was her favorite, and I certainly had no idea why the flowers seemed so important to me, but I could remember Zelda's favorite flower.

   "... Guess I'm talking to Impa again."


	4. Koko is PRECIOUS and needs PROTECTION

   "I won't let you down."

   It was strange how that felt so familiar. Like a reflex. Like I'd made that promise more times than I could count.

   Hateno... Boy howdy did I not know where that was at all. You'd think I'd have a better sense of direction by now but you would be wrong.

   I was a little out of it as I wandered down one of the roads, staring at the little yellow dot in the void of unfilled map to the south. That was gonna bug me for ages if I didn't find that tower ASAP.

   "Hey!"

   I looked up from my Sheikah slate and narrowly missed ramming into a traveler at the crossroad.

   "Uhm. Sorry." I mumbled. For some reason, I instantly felt there was something off about this guy and I most definitely did not want to stick around to find out why.

   "It's fine. If you've got some time we could talk for a bit."

   "I should really be getting somewhere."

   "Aw, but I never got to tell you about the super important group I'm part of." The man sulked. "We're called the Yiga Clan... and we've got a very important mission..."

   I took a step back and my hand instinctively went to the ax I had equipped at the moment. I'd probably have to get something that was easier to swing if this was going where I thought it was. The Yiga was silent for a few seconds before fixing me with a smile that made my blood flow come to a screeching halt.

   "Killing the legendary hero."

   The two of us were engulfed in cloud of red smoke and when it cleared, my newest threat to my life stood clad in what I had to assume was standard Yiga clan garb. I jumped back just in time for the sickle he was holding to barely miss cutting a slice out of my new stealth shirt.

    _Claree worked hard on that!_

   I didn't have time to relish my memory of the clothes store's proprietor as I hefted my ax off my back. Unfortunately, when I'd finally worked up the momentum to swing it, the Yiga disappeared in a slightly smaller puff of smoke. I didn't let myself think he was done with me, that would be too easy. I heard something above my head and dashed for the opposite side of the road. I heard the thud as my assailant (assailant? Really? You remember the word assailant but can't for the life of you recall the word 'horse' in sign language?) hit the ground where I'd just been standing. His mask snapped up to stare me down and I decided long range attacks might serve me better with an enemy that could teleport.

   I quickly retrieved the phrenic bow I'd found poking around in Kakariko, but before I got it out fully I froze as soon as I noticed... Time wasn't... moving around me.

   I couldn't really move most of my body, in fact it was an ordeal just to dart my eyes around to verify that not a single blade of grass had budged. It was... both terrifying and kind of exhilarating. I wasn't breathing, which was probably why I felt so light headed, and I got the feeling that as soon as I lined up to shoot, things would go back to normal. Hopefully. It was probably at least worth a try.

   The moment I pulled back on the string, the Yiga stood up and things started moving again. Okay, hypothesis proven. I loosed the arrow quickly and he staggered as it went through his side; mostly grazing him, but that would definitely leave a scar.

    _What if I..._

   I reached into one of the weird slots for weapons that I just sort of seemed to... have, and time once again came to a halt. I couldn't move anything and I couldn't breathe, but really, if my body was frozen in time I suppose I didn't technically  _need_ to breathe.

    _Okay. So I can rewind time when I die, create weird pockets where time passes for people who aren't me,_ and _stop time in battle. What. The heck._

   I grabbed the eightfold blade I'd gotten ahold of along the way to Kakariko and once it was in my hand, the Yiga made a dash for me and I managed to knock his wrist pretty hard with the blunt edge of my blade. I was pretty sure I heard the wrist in question break and suddenly became aware that this was a human person I was fighting and likely about to maim and/or murder in self defense. Was I okay with that?

   He did his disappearing act again and I jumped to the side just in time for him to nearly slice one of my earrings clean off along with part of my ear and leave a gash in the shoulder pad of my shirt. Yes. Yes I was okay with that.

   I jabbed at his shoulder once, twice, three times and when he staggered, I took a deep breath and summoned some of my strength to swing in a hard arc, landing right in the spot where I'd hit him with the arrow. The force of the blow flung him back out of my reach. As he pulled himself up, I pulled my bow back out and took aim at the honestly uninspired emblem on his mask. He was back on the ground almost instantly, and part of me started freaking out because 'Hey Link. You do realize you just  _shot someone in the face,_ right?' but mostly I was more worried about him getting back up to continue attacking me. He pushed himself to his feet and spread his arms to once again disappear in a puff of red smoke. The part of me that was freaking out hoped he was leaving, but something told me the Yiga were more persistent than that, which led me to moving a few feet from where I was standing.

   Sure enough, the Yiga dropped down onto the spot I'd previously occupied and honestly? I didn't really have room to squeeze much sympathy in the nonexistent cracks between the look I'd seen on Paya's face when she'd talked about the Yiga, the terror I'd felt when this very person had told me he intended to kill me, and the fact that these people were allied with the thing that was keeping _my_ princess trapped and sapping more of her energy every second. I took aim and shot.

   Surprisingly enough, he disappeared into the same dark cloud that monsters did and left some things behind. I approached the collection of spoils cautiously. There were a few various rupees and- bananas? Really?

   "Y'know, if this is what you drop, it doesn't really inspire much terror." I said to the air as I pocketed the bananas. Thinking on it, I was pretty sure bananas were supposed to make food that could increase your attack power if you cook them right. Yeah, that sounded right.

    _I wonder how much I cooked before the calamity._

   "I should find a pot."

-+-

   The nearest pot I knew of was in Kakariko, so that's where I went. I knew it was a diversion but it was technically being productive. I was experimenting with combining ingredients that would provide me with useful effects in travel and combat.

   Yeah.

   When I got to the little dining pavilion though, the cooking pot was occupied.

   "Hey hey~" The little girl smiled up at me. "Today's dinner is Veggie Cream soup! It's super nourishing and fortifying! Well, that's what they say, anyhow. It must be true!" I had no idea why she felt the need to tell me this, but I was curious since I'd never made soup before and new types of food had a tendency to be incredibly useful. She seemed to notice my interest because she continued. "All you do is toss a swift carrot, rock salt, and fresh milk in a pot and stew it up. Then, voila! So yummy!" Huh. I hadn't come across any milk before. Or swift carrots. Maybe there was some in the general store? "... OH, NO!!!"

   I startled as she started freaking out. "Koko is all out of swift carrots! But... Koko promised to make Cottla some hasty veggie cream soup..."

   I didn't like the look on her face. Not one bit. She wasn't allowed to be sad. Nope.

    _I guess today marks the day I learned I'm a sucker for small children in need._

   "I'll bring you some."

   "Thank you! So much!" The way her eyes lit up when she looked up at me made my heart squeeze, she had  _no right_ to be  _this adorable_. She wrapped my legs in a hug and if I hadn't turned to putty in this little girl's hands already, that would've melted me entirely. "Okay, Koko just needs one swift carrot. Just one and Koko can get cookin'!" She released me, smiling all big and exaggerated. "Koko will be waiting for you here!" She mumbled a bit of an aside. "Though, once it gets dark out, Koko will have to head home.

   I nodded and looked around. There it was! I headed to the general store and when I opened the door, I found the carrots quite easily, but before I'd even gotten to the basket, my eyes found the basket directly behind it.

    _What the actual fuck, why do they have_ bokoblin guts?

   I eyed the convulsing purple entrails as I cautiously grabbed one of the carrots. The little old lady that was standing in the back of the store told me how much it was and I paid for Koko's swift carrot and got the heck outta there because visions of bokoblins had started dancing in my head. I then made a beeline for Koko, who was tossing an apple back and forth between her hands and looking gloomy again. I was within earshot and heard what she was saying to the apple.

   "Koko is supposed to be like a mother for Cottla... Koko is a bad big sister..."

    _No Koko! You're a wonderful big sister, don't say that!_

   I leaned down to her level, holding the carrot behind my back. "Hey. Guess what I have."

   The little hopeful glint in her eyes was absolutely heart melting.

   "... Huh? HUH?!" She nearly dropped her apple. "Koko smells swift carrots..."

   "This is for you." I held it out to her and she pulled in a huge gasp and her eyes just _s p a r k l e d_.

   "Is that... A swift carrot?!" I nodded and she started excitedly bouncing up and down. "Thank you so much!" She hugged me again and my heart? Gone. Koko owns it now. "So very much! Now Koko can make dinner for Cottla..."

   She released me carefully took the swift carrot. "Yeah! Time to get cookin'!"

   She put away her apple in one of her pockets and pulled out a little bottle of milk. She splashed it into the pot and broke the carrot in half, scrunched her eyebrows together a bit, then broke it into quarters before tossing the uneven pieces in, humming to herself. I kept myself from intervening as she plunked an entire chunk of rock salt into the pot -which quickly crackled under the heat- because she was like, 10, but I still really really  _really_ wanted to. For one thing, it felt so _incredibly_  wrong to put the carrots in before the salt. She should have broken the salt up a bit, then tossed it in the pot and poured the carrots and milk in, then stirred it up until the carrots were soft. She did, in fact, end up waiting there at the pot until the carrots softened up. Maybe a bit too long, because the milk had already evaporated halfway and the carrots were warm mush floating around with the salt chunks. Still, it smelled pretty good. She tugged her little wrist covers down over her hands and poured the soup into two little bowls she'd placed on the ground. She gave her work a big bright approving smile.

   "Ooooh, it's perfect!" She picked up one of the bowls and walked it over to me where I sat on the log at the edge of the drop off. "Here, please have some! Koko's treat!"

   The milk had turned orange and concentrated and the carrot but still had the stem flopping out over the edge of the bowl but damn if I was about to refuse a gift from the cutest child to ever grace Hyrule.

   "Koko wants to try cooking different things so Koko can be a great chef, just like mother!"

   I ended up spending the entire afternoon fetching ingredients for her.

   "Koko has made a decision." She said as I munched on the honeyed apple slice she'd just given me. I raised an eyebrow at her and she gave me a fiery smile that nearly killed me right then and there. "Koko will get better and better, and Koko is going to be a chef when she grows up! And make delicious dishes just like mother!"

   I gave her a smile and a thumbs up and she giggled and bounced in that way that she did. Hy heart ached a little. Somehow over the past few hours of knowing me, she'd decided she was comfortable enough to divulge information about her dead mom to me, and I wanted more than anything for her to have her mom back. I told myself it was mainly because then she'd have someone who could teach her how to cook without it being a whole lot of trial, error, and forgetfulness, but mostly, it was because Koko and Cottla (who I'd kind of gotten sidetracked playing tag with while getting goat butter earlier) deserved their mom back.

    _... What ever happened to_ my _mom?_

   The sun turned the waterfalls a golden color and I deliberately switched gears to wonder what Paya was up to. I popped the rest of the apple slice into my mouth and walked down the road toward where I'd left Zelda. Horse Zelda, of course. I passed by the inn and paused a moment. I still had to get to Hateno. And if I hadn't needed to sleep so far, I probably wouldn't need to within the next few hours or however long it would take to ride out to Hateno. Should I..?

    _You've been running around everywhere getting ingredients for a little girl. And do you really wanna be alone with your thoughts at night? Again? You should probably sleep._

   Yeah. Sleep sounded good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Update inconsistently? Why I would _never!_  
>  Haha, okay, that aside, this chapter has reminded me why I never write fics for games and that is because looking up the canon dialogue is a pain in the _ass._ I do hope y'all like this tho, because Koko is positively precious and I love her lots.  
>  Have a great day, and don't forget to leave behind a comment to bring a similar amount of joy to my life that Koko brings to Link's~


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